About that Gillette Commercial...

If you respond to the new Gillette commercial with anger, or react with disgust over the so-called "war on men" and try to replace the commercial with "what it should have been," I gently invite you to pause and consider why.

For those of you who may not have seen the commercial, or know of what I am speaking, here is a link to the original commercial. For the record, I find it to be beautiful and inspiring. Here is why.

First of all, let's address this "war on men" idea. There is no war on men. There is, however, a push-back against toxic masculinity. You might think that means that masculinity = men, which = men are toxic. Not true. Men are not toxic. The way they use their masculinity, however, can be. That's what we're talking about here: not men, but how they use their masculinity. (By the way, women are also not toxic, but they can use their femininity in toxic ways, too. Think of catty, manipulative, gossiping women, and you have a general idea.)

Now let's define masculinity. Masculinity in its best form (see what I did there?) is logical, strong, and full of action and purpose, tinted with just a bit of Divine Femininity such as gentleness or patience. This is also know as the Sacred Masculine. Men are meant to be sacred, using these qualities for the good of all. But sometimes the masculine energy tilts into a toxic pattern of repeatedly over-playing the strengths to make up for some deficiency or wound (lack of love, lack of parental care and guidance, some trauma in their life, etc.), whether real or perceived. So instead of being logical, strong, full of action and purpose for the good of all, toxic masculinity shows up as selfish, bullying, and stubborn strong-arming for personal immediate gain--a desperate attempt to fix the wound. This often appears, as we've seen quite often lately, as hatred and bullying of cultures not identified as one's own; coercion and manipulation of other wounded men (and wounded women who support them) toward agreement on something that promises to alleviate the wound but really only serves the manipulator; violence; and hatred of and violence toward women, who are seen as a threat (even though their Divine Feminine--ie., intuition, gentleness, patience--is actually part of the healing).

Now, it's important that when toxic masculinity shows up, we don't fall into the trap of disgust or hate for such a display of misuse of power. Understanding that there is a deep wound in the men exhibiting this behavior is essential to responding with a Sacred Masculinity (or a Divine Femininity). In my opinion, the Gillette team did a lovely job responding with Sacred Masculinity. They logically presented the problem; they exhibited strength in speaking up; they took appropriate action for the good of all; they gently, firmly, and patiently called on men to remember to be their best selves, especially in the presence of those carrying on the Sacred Masculine mantle. They did not deride the wounded. They stepped forward as the Sacred Masculine to invite them to a higher standard of behavior. They reminded them of who they really are. Well done.

Men are sacred beings, just as women are divine beings. No gender is better than or less than the other. We need each other's energy in its best form to survive and thrive. Let's not see the prophetic call to our true selves as a war against a gender. Let's step up and truly embody our Sacred Selves.