On Grief in a World that Tries to be Insta-Perfect

 *This post is part of an email sent out over the weekend of the 20th anniversary of 9/11.*

 

This summer's ending has felt sad to me...more so than usual. I'm not sure if it's because I've not been outside this season as much as my body and soul need to be outside, or if it's the weight of the grief of the past year and a half. I suspect it is a mixture of both! And then on top of all of that, the reminders of 20 years ago when towers and planes fell and heroes were found just as some of them were dying, and all were hurting. 

All of this to say, I've been considering grief. Namely, what to do with it. 

There doesn't seem to be much room for grief in this society we're in. We tend to collectively turn away from tear-washed cheeks, wailing, and rivers of snot pouring from noses. There's an expectation to just be done with it and get back to business. And that's one of the places where the system is broken.

Because we're meant to feel oh, so deeply. Even the grief. The ripping of hearts, the morbid laughter, the anger, the fighting, the letting go, and all the repeating and reiterations...we're meant to feel it all. 

Yes, it's scary, because we can't control it; and yes, it's beautiful, because we can't control it. Grief is a feminine energy, a sacred energy, a spiraling of energy that ebbs and flows, rises and falls, but never fully goes away. It's part of the lovely makeup of humanity, of feeling, of connecting and appreciating what we hold dear. 

I was listening to a podcast recently that wondered if we could ever simply let the painful moments exist in and around us without trying to fix, heal, analyze, process, or rush through. The idea was that being immersed in the painful moments was THE lesson, THE magic, THE healing. 

Society as we have come to know it may not offer us much in the way of being in the messier moments, particularly those of grief, so I challenge you to buck the system and create those moments for yourself when you need them. Scheduling time for grief might feel weird, especially since grief runs on its own schedule, but maybe, just maybe, offering ourselves specific times to feel and BE with whatever comes up for us in that scheduled time would help us navigate the feelings. 

For now, simply sit with what is. Honor this moment. It is enough. You are enough.